Children's education flexibility

Educational skills

Teach the child flexibility

• The teacher asked her to move from her place at the front of the class to a seat in the back, but she became upset and depressed and remained angry and angry all that day.

• His team suffered a defeat in an inter-classroom competition, so he became sad and angry and began blaming the unfair teacher and the goalkeeper, and he swore that he would never play again.

• Her teacher changed and started crying every day in the morning, refusing to go to her kindergarten. He used to go to play with the neighbor’s son, so he acquired a new behavior and started harming others a lot and plotting tricks to trap them. In our daily lives, we find these situations and many others that represent the suffering of children in the issue of adapting to changing circumstances or They fall prey to the influence of others. A child’s dealing with such situations requires the ability to overcome negative feelings, benefit from his gains and personal characteristics in confronting them, and move forward with whatever matters he encounters. Resilience is: possessing an emotional ability that enables a person to focus on the solution instead of surrender and defeat.

A person is born with a degree of flexibility, then the environment and method of upbringing influence it to weaken or strengthen it. Therefore, it is important to support the factors that strengthen flexibility and avoid methods that lead to weakening it. Among the most important aids to this are:

• Helping the child to accept failure and bear the loss of what he loves. This can be achieved by inculcating the values ​​of patience and contentment and abandoning sorrow over what has happened. Excessive anxiety and grief are the opposite of flexibility. It is useful in achieving flexibility in this area to read the biographies of the first of the righteous messengers and the stories of contemporaries. Of those steadfast on the borders in Gaza who were not prevented by the most severe calamities from achieving successes, there are few who can achieve them who have not been exposed to a tenth of those calamities. Connecting a child to nature, contemplating it, and contemplating the wonders that God has created in it are among the important things in purifying souls and renewing activity.

• Preparing the child for difficult circumstances, “Akhshushnou.” Scouting trips with the family or school are considered an excellent opportunity to train the child to behave in different circumstances. It is possible that we do not turn on the air conditioning in the car on some summer days. The child who finds his requests answered and his affairs resolved learns dependency and stands confused in the face of the situation. difficult circumstances .

• Pay attention to our speech to our children. If it focuses on mistakes and a lot of blame or criticism, the child’s view of others and the reality around him will take on the same characteristic, which is an obstacle to achieving flexibility, which here is represented by finding excuses and the ability to overcome differences.

• Training the child to adapt to changing circumstances and different ideas. It is important to encourage our children to try different foods, get to know people from different cultures, and diversify their hobbies and reading. Many of our children today are accustomed to sitting for long periods of time in front of computer screens or television, to the point that one of them leaves. His friends are playing and he goes to his screen, and if there is no effort to wean the child from focusing on one form of activity, especially being stuck on screens, this will negatively affect the child’s flexibility, and it can also hinder his ability to establish successful social relationships.

• Training in taking responsibility: One of the recurring situations in our daily lives that is considered an obstacle to taking responsibility is that when a child falls or hits a table, chair, or the like, we hit the ground, chair, or table to calm the child down, and we do not realize that by doing so we are teaching him how to place blame on others, whatever this may be. Others, whether individuals, circumstances, or things. The person responsible for his falling to the ground is the chair or table. As for the real person responsible, which is himself, with what he did in haste or inattention, he is far from blame, and therefore he will not seek to benefit from the mistake because according to himself, he did not make a mistake in the first place, and when he grows up His failure in the test will be attributed to the teacher's obstinacy in questions or his unfairness in correcting, and the idea of ​​his negligence remains the last reason he can put up. When a dispute occurs between him and someone, the finger of blame always points towards the other, which makes the problem unsolvable.

• Focus on the positive points in the situation or event, as a person learns from all situations. Have the child mention a positive thing he learned from the event. If the situation was, for example, failing a test, then the positivity that was achieved from this event is “I learned that review is important,” “That this material needs focus.” “Special” and being careful not to let the situation take the form of blame is one of the obstacles to flexibility. The original principle in this application is that it comes as a form of sympathy, so that the child takes a boost from the experience that makes him move past the bad feelings and focus on the solution.

Finally, training children in resilience skills is one of the things necessary for their success in overcoming crises, achieving ambitions, and interacting positively with others.

Dr.. Sahar bint Abdul Latif Kurdi

Family and child counselor